The Ending We Wanted for Winter Soldier
by thestoryteller17
Summary: Natasha struggles with her feelings for Steve hoping she can overcome them, but does she really want to? Rated T just to be safe. It's better then it sounds, promise.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Hawkeye and Natasha were sitting in one of the new Avengers coalition jets on their way back from a particularly sticky mission in Paris. It had been a year since Hydra's infiltration of shield had been revealed. Rogers and Falcon had gone off on their mission to save Rogers' good friend James Buchanan Barnes and Natasha had not seen him since they visited Fury's grave in D.C. Steve was still trying to figure out how to communicate over Facebook, and was doing so now with Natasha. She was trying to explain how to use the instant messaging feature to him by instant messaging him; needless to say, this was not going very well. However, Natasha was giggling and smiling all the same.

"Is that a smile?" commented Hawkeye with a smile on his face. Natasha's smile turned into a smirk as she turned toward him.

"Maybe, why, what's it to you?"

"I dunno, I just feel like I haven't seen you smile in a while. I know Fury's been keeping us pretty busy lately but even so, you and I used to have fun on our missions. Ever since D.C. there's been something very different about you."

"Different how?"

"What happened between you and Rogers?" Natasha took a defensive stance.

"What makes you think something happened between us?"

"I dunno, Natasha. What are you doing right now? Heck, what're you always doing when we're not working?"

"What're you talking about?"

"Right now, Natasha what're you doing?"

"That's none of your business!"

"It sure as hell is! Natasha, you're practically a sister to me, we've gone through some pretty bad stuff together and we've gotten each other through it, so why after all that, would you bother keeping a secret from me? That's not how this works and you know it."

"It's not really a secret, I mean you seem to have figured it out already."

"Rogers? Really?"

"Hey, don't judge me okay? Need I remind you of Jenna?"

"Okay, okay, you got me, just why now Natasha? Why him? I thought you said love is for children. Don't you remember Michael?"

"How could I forget!"

"Alright I'm sorry, that was a low blow, but you have to be reasonable about this. You should know better then anyone that people in our line of work don't get to live happily ever after."  
"Who says that's what I want?"

"So what? You're just gonna use him till you're done with him. Rodgers is won't take that."

"No, I'm not going to use him, we work together. He and I are friends, I'm just, trying to help him out that's all."

"You know Fury's concerned too…"

"Great, now Fury knows? Does anyone I work with not know?"

"I don't think Rodgers knows or at least he hasn't let on yet… Just be careful Natasha, I don't want you getting hurt. It took me months to put you back together after Michael, I don't want to have to do that again."

"Okay can you be done scolding me now?"

"I wasn't scolding but okay, yeah, we can be done."

Natasha looked back down at her computer screen. She'd been talking to Barton for about ten minutes and she hadn't realized that Steve had replied to her Facebook message successfully.

Steve Rogers: Natasha? Hello? Is this working?

Steve Rogers: I think this is working. I can see myself typing on the screen.

Steve Rogers: Natasha? You there? I must've lost the signal. Asldfkeisfasf oops. Sorry. Stupid computer.

Natasha giggled and started typing:

Natasha Romanoff: Hey Cap, yeah, it's working.

Steve Rogers: Good, I'm glad. How are you? How was Paris?

Natasha Romanoff: Not bad, nothing Barton and I couldn't handle, what about you? How's Russia? Was Bascov helpful to you?

Steve Rogers: Extremely helpful, after we roughed him up a bit. And he roughed us up a bit.

Natasha Romanoff: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I was explicit when I told him I was calling in my favor but he might not have gotten the hint. He never liked me very much.

Steve Rogers: No worries, we now have the information we need and Bucky's getting close to being fully back to health.

Natasha Romanoff: I'm glad to hear that.

Natasha is typing….

Natasha Romanoff:

Steve is typing…

Steve Rogers: When do you get back to D.C.?

Natasha Romanoff: Should be back in a few hours. Why?

Steve Rogers: Are you doing anything tonight?

Natasha Romanoff: Yeah, I've got a hot date, guy from accounting just won't take no for an answer.

Steve Rogers: Oh osnfdfesfdf. Oops. Sorry I was typing too fast. Guess, have fun?

Natasha Romanoff: Relax Steve, I was kidding!

Steve Rogers: Oh right, you were kidding… My bad…

Natasha Romanoff: Why?

Steve Rogers: No reason, just, would you wanna get dinner with me? There's this great Italian place down the street…..

Natasha Romanoff: Steve, I want to see you tonight but I can't do dinner…

Natasha Romanoff: How about we get a drink. I have something I need to tell you.

Steve Rogers: Sure. Just give me a time and place.

Natasha typed a time and place and held her breath. She would need liquid courage to do what she needed to do tonight. Barton looked over at her with a concerned look on his face.

"You okay Romanoff?" Natasha sighed….

"Yeah"…., "I just really don't want to do this….Steve is one of the good ones. I always thought…If I ever met a guy like that again maybe, I don't know. Just Steve…..he needs someone he can grow old with. Someone who gets him. Not me, I'm way too complicated, I come with way too much emotional baggage. It's better this way right?"

"Yeah Romanoff," replies Barton. "It's better this way."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Natasha rushed into the restaurant, hoping she got there first so she could mentally prepare herself for what she was about to do; of course, Steve was already there. He was sitting at the bar, downing what looked like a whiskey sour, she knew Steve couldn't get drunk so he could've been drinking ever clear and it wouldn't have made that much of a difference. The bar attender, a tall blonde woman in her early 20's, was doing her job by attending to the other patrons at the bar but you could tell she was watching Steve from the corner of her eye, and who could blame her, the man was beautiful. He was wearing a blue shirt, which brought out the color of his eyes perfectly and black slacks that looked like they were tailored specifically to his body. A younger Natasha, a more naïve Natasha would have taken him back to her apartment and let him have her, but this was serious, she couldn't do that. He was her co-worker and her friend. She had to be rational about this. She would be rational about this. And then he looked at her and the rest of the room fell away. He noticed her and it was as if his gaze was pulling her over to him, like no other person in the room existed. Natasha had only felt this way about one other person, and he was long gone now, thanks to her. _Which is precisely the reason why this little flirtation has to come to an end. _Natasha's inner monologue reminded her. _Thanks conscience, as if this wasn't already hard enough. _

Natasha conjured up as much courage as she could muster and she meandered over to where Steve was sitting. Steve had put on the most dazzling smile she had ever seen, and she knew, he wore it just for her.

"Agent Romanoff!" Steve got up from his stool and pulled her in for a hug. "It's soo good to see you."

Their bodies both stiffened and the tension was so intense Natasha didn't know if she could stand it. She sat down on the stool next to him and ordered a vodka martini. The bar attender practically spat on her when she muttered, "coming right up." And Steve sat down next to her turning his entire body towards her to the point that their legs were almost touching. She was burning with the desire to turn towards him but she knew that that would not be a good idea. If she spent too much time looking directly at him, she wouldn't be able to do what she had come here to do.

"Natasha, what's wrong?" Steve asked, with genuine questioning in his eyes. He could read her so well even after a year apart it was scary.

"It's nothing, it's just, it's been a really long time."

"Yes, yes it has." Said Steve. "Now why don't you tell me what's really going on."

"Nothing, it's nothing."

"No it's not Natasha, I know you better then that, what's wrong?"

"I just…I don't think we should work together anymore."

"WHAT!"

"Don't get mad, I've been thinking about it and I think we should stay away from each other for a while. Barton needs some help with an assignment in Nicaragua and I think I should join him. He's been like a brother to me for so long and I think it would be good for me, besides Fury said there's nothing requiring me being here right now so…"

"Nicaragua? Natasha, where the hell is this coming from? I thought you wanted to see me…"

"I did, I do, I just… I have to do this, for myself, do you understand? Steve? Do you understand?"

"I understand. I think…"

"This is goodbye Steve. For a while. I leave tonight, at midnight."

"Midnight, great."

"I need to pack. It was nice seeing you. We'll keep in touch okay?" Natasha said, barely holding back tears. She kissed Steve on the cheek, and for a second, she thought she might try to kiss him on the lips, but she held back. She practically ran out of the restaurant at top speed and hoped to god that he didn't see her start to cry. She hailed a cab as quickly as she could. _Great_, thought Natasha, _Now I'm going to have to convince Barton to go to Nicaragua… _she thought, as the cab speeded off into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Natasha fished her apartment key from her purse and struggled to open the door because the tears wouldn't stop coming. She thought she had done the right thing. She had done the right thing right? She slowly moved into her apartment but she soon heard a noise. Natasha crouched and waited for the first blow of an unknown opponent when the kitchen light came on and Steve Rodgers stepped out. The man was soaking wet and just as beautiful as the man whom she had left at the restaurant, if not more so. She'd forgotten it had been raining outside. He must've ran all the way here and somehow managed to beat her.

"I don't remember giving you a key." Stated Natasha.

"Just one of the many advantages of being me." Said Steve.

"Oh, right, super strength and all that. Remind me to bill you for whatever door or window you just broke."

"Natasha, in all seriousness, I just need to know why? Why are you leaving? I just got you back and you're leaving again, indefinitely? Why?"

"You know why, Steve."

"No I don't, why?"

"We can't do this, we just can't."

"Can't do what?"

"Us, this, whatever it is, it has to stop, before someone gets hurt."

"You mean before you get hurt."

"No us, both of us, if this happens, and it ends badly we'll both be hurt. At least I know I'll be hurt, probably irreparably."

"What makes you think I'll hurt you?"

"You all do, eventually, you all do, I know you don't mean to but…" Steve came towards Natasha and raised her chin up to his so that she had to meet his eyes.

"Natasha, I haven't stopped thinking about you since we left each other last year. Wilson had to literally tell me to stop talking about you one day. And Bucky, he knew even before I did."

"Bucky knew what?"

"He knew that I was in love with you. I love you Natasha, I want to be with you, whatever the cost."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Probably, but you feel it too, don't you? If you don't you can go to Nicaragua and I won't say another word about it, but if you do, Natasha don't you think this is worth a shot?" She answered his question by putting her lips on his. They kissed each other for all that it was worth, how they had wanted to kiss each other for months. They kissed each other like it was the end of the world. And the next morning, when they woke up in bed next to each other, as if they had been doing it for years. And Nick Fury called them to let them know the world was actually ending, they kissed each other again, suited up, and headed out to save the world, again….

The End


End file.
